A special birthday!

     Three years ago today, I waited most of the day at the hospital waiting for a special little boy to be born.  My son who had just passed away in April, was now going to be a daddy again.  It was bittersweet to be there waiting for the moment of his birth, and knowing that his daddy would not be there to hold him, and would never be able to hold him ever.  I was so emotional that day, wondering what it would have been like to watch Marjoe holding his precious little son just moments after his birth.  I wondered what it would have been like to see the expressions on his face as he held this new precious gift of life.  I also wondered what it would be like when this little baby would grow up and ask , "Where is my daddy?", knowing that somehow we would have to explain to him how drugs had stolen his father's life from him. No child should ever have to go through this, and it happens more and more all of the time.
     Today is a special day when we celebrate my grandson's third birthday.  I will watch him unwrap his presents with tears welling up in my eyes, knowing that my son should be there smiling.  I will watch him smear cake and ice cream alll over himself as he smiles because he knows all eyes are on him.  I will cry inside knowing his daddy should be here, and I will see all that he is missing.  I never want another child to lose a parent because of alcohol or drugs.  I never want another child to grow up and have to hear the words, "Your daddy died because of drugs." Today, memories flood my mind thinking back to the day when my son called me and told me that they were expecting a baby.  I remember the joy in his voice, and the excitement he shared with me over the news.  Today, my heart is saddened in knowing that he is not here to see the excitement of his little boy celebrating his third birthday.  Today, I will cry tears of happiness for this gift of life that our family has been blessed with, but I will also cry tears of sorrow that he will never know his daddy throughout his entire life.
     Drugs do not only affect the person involved, they affect many many lives, and unfortunately, it lasts forever.  Our family will never again be the same, and this birthday party with an empty seat will remind me us of that.  May God bless all of you who are going through this same journey of sadness and emptiness.  May you be filled with peace and acceptance, as I pray for our own family  to have the same.  Happy 3rd Birthday little Masen, and may your daddy be watching you from the gates of Heaven!